aldo-vallon - September 8, 2017
I pulled both sides of my groin just from looking at Jennifer Lopez pull those moves and muscles I did not even know I had are now sore. I cannot imagine what I would feel like if I actually tried to perform them. Every tendon in my body would probably snap and I would turn into a human pretzel. When the acrobats in the circus do it it is with grace and looks impressive. If I did it it would be pathetic and result in much needed calls to 911. After that I could probably have my own place in a carnival. They would call me the human knot and charge people a dollar to try and untie me in exchange for a stuffed animal. It would be the easiest money those carnies had ever made. The crab man and bearded lady would have nothing on me. Why was a bearded lady ever impressive anyway? My grandmother had a goatee but no one was ever awestruck by it. Those whiskers were hard not to look at though. Kind of like cleavage in that way, but a completely different feeling.
Photo Credit: Splash News